Raiders Achieve First Down
Reason #229 why I love The Onion… EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—In an improbable display of competence and a basic execution of football fundamentals, the Oakland Raiders stunned the football world Sunday when...
View ArticleRedskins Hold Press Conference to Announce They Are Still Sort of a Football...
Reason #581 why I love The Onion… WASHINGTON—Washington Redskins head coach Jim Zorn held a press conference Sunday to reassure fans that, despite an inability to effectively execute their offense,...
View ArticleThe Onion: Staples Center collapses, hundreds saved from having to watch a...
Reason #409 why I love The Onion… Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End To Clippers Game
View ArticlePackers fan announces he will return to drinking for another season
Reason #794 why I love The Onion… Packers Fan Announces He Will Return To Drinking For Another Season
View ArticleThe Onion: Red Sox announce plans to return Fenway to original 1912...
Red Sox Announce Plans To Return Fenway To Original 1912 Conditions
View ArticleThe Onion: Fluid Just Happy To Have Had Opportunity To Build Up In Kobe...
Hilarious… LOS ANGELES—Calling the experience “a true honor” and “the opportunity of a lifetime,” the infected synovial fluid recently drained from Kobe Bryant’s right knee told reporters Monday that...
View ArticleSet Your TiVos: The Onion’s Sportsdome premieres on 1/11 on Comedy Central
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